Smoking

Client stops smoking after addressing "manly" issue

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Hi Everyone,

Smoking cessation can take one session or several ... it depends on when you find the core emotional issue(s) that drive the addiction. In this case, Liz Hart from New Zealand found it in one session.

Hugs, Gary


By Liz Hart MA EFT-CC Adv

My client is a builder about 47 years old, who is a long time heavy smoker. He enjoys smoking but wants to stop because he knows it's bad for his health (he's had two heart attacks) and for his children's health too.

We started with using a direct approach to his smoking:

Even though I enjoy smoking...
Even though I'm scared smoking will kill me and hurt my kids...
Even though I have to stop smoking to keep my kids safe...

None of them seemed to have much impact.

I had him hold the cigarette, look at it and smell it, dry drag, and tell me what I meant to him. As he smelled the cigarette, he had a deep sigh and said it made him feel accepted and manly.

When I asked when he first had that feeling he told me of a family tradition where the young boys in the family were taken hunting for the first time by Dad, the uncles and other male relatives and friends and were given a cigarette when they made their first kill. It was an initiation rite into manhood in their community, and it meant a lot to him to be accepted, as he was born with a physical deformity which he was often teased about as he grew up (one leg shorter than the other so he walks with a limp).

So we tapped on:

Even though I'm only a man when I smoke.......
Even though I need to smoke to belong with the men...
Even though I'll loose my identity as a man if I don't smoke.

We went on to reframe non-smoking and manliness:

Even though I smoke to be a man, it takes a real man to take a stand strong for his family, and I choose to stand up for my kid's health.
Even though I smoke to belong to my family, I won't be much use to them dead.
Even though Dad taught me smoking was manly, I forgive him, he was doing the best he could with what he knew, and I'll do my best for my kids too.

At the end of the session he threw his cigarettes in the rubbish. I taught him how to tap to reduce cravings before he left, and upon follow up 2 weeks and 8 weeks later he has not had a single desire to smoke again. And he's sending his cousin Joe into see me as he wants to quit as well.

Liz Hart

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