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Success with a 6 year old: Coughing, Sleep problem and School anger issue

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

We have many EFT success stories regarding children and this one, by Phil Chave of the UK, merits your attention. Not only does he effectively collapse several important issues for his 6 year old son, but he also shows us some effective ways to gain rapport when the child resists EFT.

By Phil Chave

Dear Gary.

Although this article is about my son (age 6), I must preface it by telling you that I work with badly abused, self-harming children at The Haven Healing Centre.

That being said, I failed to understand my own son's complete resistance to tapping, for anything until one day when he said, 'I don't need to tap, Daddy. I'm not as sick as those children you have to make better in your room'. Oh, did I mention he's as bright as a button and thinks he's 12?

Anyway, he had a cough and it suddenly dawned on the both of us parents that he'd had this night time cough for weeks. I'd just gotten used to going in and propping him up on his pillows, but this particular night, it was 10 o'clock, with school in the morning, and he couldn't sleep.

He didn't want to tap, so I asked if he'd mind if I showed him what I did to help the other children. Only, I'd do it on me, then on him, and then, if he liked, he could join in or take over whenever he wanted to.

I did a few demonstration rounds, but deliberately kept the affirmation part quiet, so that he would ask what I was saying. I said, 'Oh, because you were having trouble dropping off, I thought it might be a good idea to say something like, 'Even though I can't sleep, I'm still a good kid''. (Thank you Ann Adams).

He laughed and said loudly 'I AM A GOOD KID, 'COURSE I'M A GOOD KID'.

'Yes,' I said, 'so it's not even your fault that you can't go to sleep is it?' He said, 'So what you mean is, even though I can't sleep ......I'm still a good boy'. 'Yes! Sounds like a good thing to say again, don't you think?' 'Okay!'

The next round produced a yawn, and we didn't even finish the next one, because he was gone.

Since then, we started tapping for the cough, (Even though I have this cough....can't stop coughing....have a tickle in my chest.....choose to stop coughing, I'm still a good kid) which has not recurred now for a single night in over 3 months.

He's taken to it so readily, that when he has trouble sleeping, we'll tap for it a few rounds, he'll yawn and be gone before I can even reach the door. The tapping just seems to relax him totally and straight away. I've even heard him doing it himself, as his door is slightly ajar. It's beautiful when you hear that, because you know that the message has gone in and been understood at a very profound level.

Not long ago, he came home from school more upset than I'd ever seen him. He'd been shouted at by a school dinner lady for mucking about, and sent to the Head's Office, thus missing his dinner and playtime. It was the raised voice that did the damage and by the time he'd had time to brew, he was sobbing uncontrollably. This went on for some time, and the expressions, 'I hate school', 'I hate Mrs. ...........', and 'I'm never going back to school, ever' were filling the air with increasing conviction.

Now, having a child develop this attitude this early in his education didn't appeal to me one bit, so we worked on 'Even though I got into big trouble at dinner time, I'm still a good kid', 'Even though Mrs...... shouted at me.......' and stuff like that, until we'd talked this thing through from all angles.

He went to school the next morning having completely gotten over everything to do with the previous day. And he's never brought it up again, unlike other incidents that do come up regularly, and trouble him from time to time. But we are getting to those as they arise.

I knew we'd cracked it when he woke up with a scream at about 4 o'clock in the morning, just a few night ago. As I got to his room, having leapt out of bed....he said, 'Daddy, I've been dreaming about bears. Do you think this is something I should be tapping about?'

He regularly talks to his school friends about getting rid of headaches by tapping and gives really good demonstrations in the playground.

And not long ago, I went on a school field trip, unfortunately sitting near a group of known travel "sickers." You know, the ones that are ill on every trip. As one felt bad, we started tapping for feeling sick on the bus and choosing not to be ill. All of 'em tapping in unison. But do you know what? Not one of those kids needed the bucket. Even the teacher wanted to know, what was that tapping thing you were doing with the kids, because she couldn't believe that none of them had been ill.

Try it on everything? You better believe it.

I feel that I have been able to give my son a tool that will stay with him, and benefit him, for the rest of his life.

Phil Chave

More articles on Children's Issues


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